Thursday 22 April 2010

a Tarheel's hatred I understand

The Daily Tar Heel
February 9, 2010
1990 columnist
http://www.dailytarheel.com/content/why-i-hate-duke

(In Summary)
"Now I realize that school spirit is a pretty goofy thing to some people, but I'll tell you something: I hate Duke with an infernal passion undying. I hate every leaf of every tree on that sickening campus. I hate every fake cherub Gothic piece of crap that litters the buildings like hemorrhoidal testiments to imagined superiority. When I see those Dookie boneheads shoe-polishing their faces navy blue on television, squadering their parents' money with their fratty elitist bad sportsmanship antics and Saab stories, I want to puke all over Durham."

...now THAT'S hatred.

I for one have had experience with Duke students, and I can pretty much concur. Trying to perform my weekly gig at Pasta Bella in Durham about five years ago and four couples from Duke were out for some dinner before some function, and I couldn't help but overhear their talk about boarding schools and new cars. Ugh. I'm sure I've been influenced by all the friends I had at Carolina, but take it from me: I understand.

Tuesday 20 April 2010

Baseball

I've written about how much I love baseball before. It's a new season, and the Red Sox look terrible. But April isn't even over!! They'll come around. The Braves (the team I grew up adoring but sort of abandoned when their pitching staff was traded away) have a new hot shot rookie, Jason Heyward, a 20-year-old who hit a dinger in his first AB in the Show. There's already been a no-hitter. Peter Gammons is gone from ESPN and works strictly for the MLB network now (which is super cool of him but I miss him, however John Kruk's presence on Baseball Tonight sort of evens it out).

My point is this: last year, I didn't watch enough baseball throughout the season. This year is going to be different. I love BASEBALL. I don't have a hardcore passionate allegiance to any one team, but there are those I follow and root for (the Sox, Braves, Cubs, Dodgers, the National League in general) and there are teams I have a strong dislike for (Cardinals and Yankees, however in the case of NY it's pure, unadulterated hatred). I'm somewhat ambivalent toward my "home" teams of Florida, the Marlins and Rays just don't do it for me, even though the Durham Bulls are the AAA affiliate of the Rays and I used to go to Bulls games all the time when I lived in NC.

This year, I will watch more baseball. It makes me happy. It's a beautiful and unique game in so many ways, and I'm not going to look back in October and again say, "you know, I didn't watch many ballgames during the season."

Regret is the biggest sin!


Monday 5 April 2010

Believe In Me?

Listening to my new Breaking Benjamin station on Pandora. I don't know how to describe it but I like it - emo? post-modern grunge? Some stuff is too harsh but it's all deeply heart-scabbing and the masochist in me likes that.

But one song just now caught my attention with a few lyrics - Believe by Staind.

"Cry myself to sleep" ?? The only time I think I've ever really done this was when my dad wouldn't let me stay up late to watch Pee Wee's Big Adventure on television. Is it really possible to fall asleep crying, with your nose all running and sobbing for air and whatever anguish causing the tears tormenting you? Just sayin.

What what does it mean when you ask someone to believe in you? The last time I remember that discussion was from Pretty In Pink, and I didn't really understand it then either. Molly Ringwold was all, "If someone doesn't believe in me, I can't believe in them." What the heck does that mean??? I believe in God, meaning I believe that He exists, that He's everything he says He is, etc, but I'm reluctant to parallel that to "believing" in another mere human.

There goes another one! A Shinedown song! "The only thing I still believe in is you." from "If You Only Knew".

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!!?!?!?!??!!??!??!?!?!!!????

Boy this Three Days Grace song is pretty intense ("I'll get lost if you want me to/somehow I've found a way to get lost in you").

Look, I'm not hopelessly lost for some mindless jerk who's unaware of my existence, but I do have a mild-to-medium crush (on a kid who likes Breaking Benjamin, haha, which is why I looked them up on Pandora, which is sort of lame but for this purpose I don't care). Do I believe in him? Uh, I believe he exists! I know he knows I exist! I believe that he is a good person. I believe that he makes me a better person because of the reasons I've chosen to contain my feelings for him by just writing songs and being polite. (The reasons could but won't be another blog entry).

There's another one! A Seether song, "The Gift" - "a reason to believe in me".

Even Paul Simon said in "Kathy's Song", "So you see I have come to doubt/all that I once held as true/I stand alone without beliefs/the only truth I know is you."

I guess if I wanted someone to "believe in me", I'd want them to trust me, root for me, have faith in me and my goals and know whole-heartedly that I will accomplish what I want for my life. I know that my coach believes in me, my parents and sisters do, and anyone who considers me a friend, but I'm having a hard time relating this to romance. I have a hard time wrapping my mind around this because of my lack of experience.

Andrew McCarthy said, "I believed in you, you just didn't believe in me." Apparently this "belief" is a two-way street! I'm still puzzled.