Procrastination

Went to home group tonight. 4th Step, ugh. Been dreading this. Sort of did one last year, shared at a speaker meeting, felt like a 5th. But now it's really really time.

Get home, walk in, want to shower, write a little while it's still fresh, sleep. Roommate says, "hey we mopped the house." I say, "yay, thanks, it smells good." He says, "every room but yours so go ahead and use the mop water." Annoyance and resentment flashed across the inner frame of my mind. The whole, "Clean your room!" thing, ugh. My inner teenager is screaming, "You're not the boss of me!"

Shower, pout.

Get out and look at my room. I'd never really organized it when I moved in. Crap sticking out here, a couple unpacked boxes there, etc. Started sweeping, going for the corners, under the bed.

Holy crap.

My room is my life.

All this junk I haven't wanted to deal with. Got serious and determined to do it correctly. Dadgummit, it's time to clean my room and it's time to clean my life.

Stupid metaphor, pointing out how childish I am and how afraid I've been to really deal with my stuff. But the floor is shiny, winter clothes are stored away, and I'm ready to sit down and do the rest the Big Book way.