Telescope

I think God made me a songwriter to give me a way to figure out what I'm feeling. It wasn't until recently that I accepted that I possess these feeling things and it's perfectly normal, even if I'm not. Funneling and filtering all these experiences, observations and imaginings down into something catchy and clever is the creative focus of each present moment I remember to truly live.

There's no way I could say it better than Bob Dylan did in his book, Chronicles, Volume 1:

"If anything, I wanted to understand things and then be free of them. Things were too big to see all at once, like all the books in the library - everything laying around on all the tables. I needed to learn how to telescope things, ideas. You might be able to put it all into one paragraph or into one verse of a song if you could get it right." ... "A song is like a dream, and you try to make it come true."

My college-years journals have lately been opened more and more in my quiet time and it's funny - all the lines I wrote back when I thought I had no clue what was going on were pretty accurate descriptions of that particular reality.

I look at what I'm writing today, which I'm now able to do from different perspectives or from outside myself entirely, and maybe I can draw the same conclusion -

There's my self-deprecating side:
This is such a metaphor/deja vu, seen it before/such ironic play on words/white and black come back for thirds/here I go but I digress/it's so silly but I must confess/it's my quest to impress someone else without sounding like I'm pleased myself.

My old guy sitting in a rocking chair outside the barber shop chewing bahaya grass with his hat tipped and arms crossed side:
Sow your oats before you come back home cause oats don't grow down here.

And I have my cynical, defeated side:
I don't care/but I could/I'm willing to see/if I would/but in all likelihood/he won't be anything to me.


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