Carson Cat Attempts to Commit Calculated Acts of Kindness

A stop on my roadtrip a couple weeks ago was a visit to Cousin Matt Elliott's in Buford, Georgia, which is just up from Atlanta. The family includes his amazing wife Lela (a super hero mom), kids Isaac, Seth, Annie, and cat Carson. Carson is the most affectionate cat I've ever met, and we all know cats are usually independent lil' cusses. So I asked Lela for the how-come, and she said Carson had been hit by a car about ten years ago and lived with her sister. When the family dog died, the Elliotts were obviously devastated. They needed a comforter in the house but weren't quite ready for a dog, so Carson came to live with them.

It all made perfect sense to me. I'm not sure if anyone else is aware of it, but our pets are solely concerned with loving and taking care of us. I slept on the futon downstairs one night, and woke up to find Carson curled up purring in the crook of my belly. What a big sweetie! So it hit me right then to write a story bout him/her (since the accident they can't tell what gender Carson is - since Carson is the name of a pretty girl in the movie "Shag", I will henceforth say "she"). The gist of it (pardon me while I end lots of sentences with prepositions):


One Sunday morning, Carson was bored to tears because his family was away at church and she had no one to take care of. After watching a cartoon about sharing on Sesame Street, Carson decided to go find someone to be nice to. Surely there was someone out there in need of some love!

So she headed down into the city of Atlanta, but everyone was either in church or still asleep! Carson was feeling discouraged - who could she be nice to? While strolling through a nice neighborhood, a beautiful black puppygirl came out barking. Carson was frightened! "What on Earth are you barking for?" she asked. The puppygirl replied, "oh I'm sorry, I'm just so worried about my best friend, my soulmate, the Love of my Life. He's gone to a basketball game and couldn't take me with him, he usually does! I'm just afraid he'll take his glasses off and not be able to find them again, he's somewhat blind you see." Carson graciously accepted her apology and they made introductions: Hannah Banana was her name. "Well, since you're all alone, why don't you come with me? I'm going to find someone to be nice to. Surely we'll be home in time for supper." So away they went, and headed down to Florida.

Their first stop in the Sunshine State was in a little coastal fishing village called Suwannee. As they walked along by the old canal, they spotted two sleek and confident young cat ladies. "Hello!" hollered Carson. "Hello yourself!" cried the black & white feline. Carson and Hannah Banana entered the yard and approached the two cats on the big covered porch. "This is Xena, and I'm Kitty Sue," said the black & white cat, indifferently. Daddy Sam, our benefactor, has gone fishing, so we're even more bored than usual. Not that he doesn't fish all the stinking time, but it's all right because he gives us sushi when he gets back." Hannah told her, "When will he return? Perhaps we can be nice to him!". "Fat chance," Xena said smartly, "he's a big ole grouch with a heart of gold. He may get stuck on a mudflat and not come in til tomorrow evening. We never know, we're just sick with worry everytime he leaves. But we like the sushi he brings when he finally returns." "Well come on with us! Surely we can do something nice for someone on our travels, and we'll be home by suppertime," suggested Carson, and away they went.

They pressed on to a little town called Oxford. A quiet country road led them to a mysterious driveway through some pines to a brick house surrounded by ancient oak trees. Suddenly they heard yapping from some little dogs who seemed more frightened than anything else. "Gracious, will you put a sock in it!?!?" said Kitty Sue, as she bopped the dominant one on the nose. "Ouch! What'd you do that for?" protested the rebel-rouser. Hannah said, "There's no sense in senseless barking!" Carson added, "Um yes, you're one to talk, lady," and they all laughed. "I am Evelyn, and this is Melissa Manchester, but everyone calls her Missy. Our lady Miss Lisa has gone to see her grandbabies across the pasture so we have no one to entertain! Gosh, we miss her!" "There, there", Carson comforted, "you can come along with us and we'll find someone to be nice to. We'll be sure to have you home in time for supper!" so they pressed on, rejoicing in the possibilities of good intentions.

Their travels across water and land led them to Bayou La Batre, Alabama. The first folks who greeted them were a gregarious pair of mutts named Dixie and Blue. "Well howdy! Where y'all from?", said Blue. "We're from all over," said Carson. "This is Hannah Banana, Kitty Sue, Xena, Evelyn, Missy, and my name is Carson Cat. We're looking to commit calculated acts of kindness for whomever we can find." "Well Lawd son, you sure come to the right place," cried Dixie. "We still need help. This town been hit by the Hurricane Katrina almost two years ago and it still ain't the same." Missy shuddered and replied, "what kind of help do you need? We excel in general loving kisses and hugs and lap-sitting." "Golly we need more than that," said Blue, "how bout we all get to the church and say a prayer about it?" "Well that sounds like a fine idea," said Hannah, "I sure need to pray that my Best Friend doesn't misplace his glasses!" So they headed down Henley Street toward the Bayou and arrived at the Church of Christ right in time for singing. They all lined up in the 2nd pew from the front and got to praising the Lord with "Amazing Grace". When the song was done and they sat down, Carson whispered loudly, "I reckon this is almost as good as getting out there and helping folks." "Now we pray." stated Dixie, "Tomorrow we work." So they all counted their blessings that they were on the giving and not the receiving end. This might've been the best thing they learned all day long.

THE END.
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